I have been a total slacker about posting pictures of my food. I guess it’s been partly because it’s been prepackaged the past couple of days. I have been tracking it on sparkpeople, just so that I could still keep up with it.

Yesterday’s breakfast:

  • a packet of Quaker banana bread instant oatmeal
  • 1 packet of stevia
  • a banana
  • about a tbsp of peanut butter

Yesterday’s snacks:

  • leftover vegetable stirfry with meatless chicken slices
  • a banana with smucker’s natural peanut butter (so good, and only 2 ingredients!)

Yesterday’s lunch:

  • whole wheat angel hair pasta
  • Newman’s own marinara
  • mushrooms
  • black olives

Yesterday’s dinner:

This, I actually have a picture of.

picture-129First, my salad.

  • spinach
  • mushrooms
  • tomatoes
  • about 1/3 of a cucumber

picture-1322And here, with the soup. I had a can of Progresso minestrone.

I also had a cup of Silk very vanilla soy milk with my dinner.

I’m down 12 lbs since New Year’s Eve. Granted, that’s slow progress, it is progress, and I haven’t been sincerely trying the whole time. I have tried for a week, and then given up for 2 and then started again. It was just last month that I actually got serious. I’m starting to feel some of my pants fitting pretty loosely, which I’m very excited about. All of my jeans now have to be worn with a belt, where not long ago at all, I was having trouble fitting them over my thighs and butt. Best of all, for the first time, I’m losing weight without feeling deprived, and I actually look forward to eating or buying groceries, not because I am so incredibly hungry, but because food is now about choosing. It’s empowering. Last night, I tracked my foods, and then I looked at what I was missing from the day. I needed some more protein, but didn’t need to get much more fat or carbs, so I went through my head quickly to figure out what had enough protein without being too much fat or carbs. I’m thinking this through, and rather than just tying myself to a number of calories, I’m trying to figure out how to get my body what it needs.

I had a conversation with my sister last night. She is a fast-food manager, and between her crazy hours and the food that’s readily available, the restaurant lifestyle has not been kind to her waistline. About a month ago, she joined somewhere to help her lose weight. I don’t really know much about this place, except that one of her friends joined it a while ago and has lost a lot of weight. So far, all I really know is that my sister is working out every day. They recommended 30 minutes or so, I believe, but she is doing an hour on the elliptical. They have also told her to cut her calorie intake to 1500 a day, which she is sticking to pretty well. I know that they give appetite supressants, and my sister has been taking those. Apparently they’re effective.

I guess what concerns me, though, is that because of her work, her 1500 calories are coming from crap, pure and simple. She is having cereal for breakfast, something from work for lunch, and then whatever for dinner. A fast-food lifestyle is still unhealthy crap, even if you cut it to 1500 calories. Yes, you can lose weight, but your body is not at all getting what it needs. And I really have trouble with the fact that this place is not pushing her to eat healthier. The answer is not just eating less, it’s eating better. Smarter. I get it now. And it took me forever to get there, but that’s largely because I did it the long, roudabout way. I didn’t pay for an expert to help me, although I wanted to. Still, if the “experts” are doing no more advising than this, I guess I’m better off having gone this route. I have a lot of information, and I know where to go for more. And I want more. Can I say that I won’t slip? No… but I can say that even when I slip, I will know that I am slipping- I will not believe that I can eat healthily at McDonald’s.

I guess it’s supposed to be about smaller changes? Maybe the goal is to gradually help her to change her lifestyle… I don’t think that’s what has happened with her friend, but maybe I’m wrong. I sure hope so.

All of that said, here is this morning’s breakfast.

picture-133I made some cinnamon roll instant oatmeal and added some frozen organic blueberries and some whipped cream for a little bit of extra fun.

picture-1341And again.

I also had a Clif Z chocolate brownie bar.

Ok… so I know it’s not exactly ideal, but I do need to go to the store and get some regular oats. I should put that on my to-do list.

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Isn’t the weather lovely today…. sigh.

On a brighter note, I did get out of class early this afternoon because of it. Of course, I have done none of the things I needed to with that time. On today’s to do list:

  • write lesson plans
  • create math centers
  • find a rug for the living room (I hate ours)
  • clean house
  • laundry

I’m sure I’ll get to at least 3 of those. I absolutely have to do laundry, write lesson plans, and make math centers in order to get through the day tomorrow, so I’ll have to motivate myself to do at least that much.

I have completely overhauled my eating this past few weeks, and I’m very surprised to find myself really enjoying the change. I have always been an all or none person, and it seems like leaving myself no room for crap, I’ve really delved wholeheartedly into much better eating patterns. That said, I have yet to reincorporate exercise. I had been very consistent about it for a while, but was starting to really slack at about the same time I had to get my wisdom tooth pulled. I haven’t made any attempt at working out since then- although, to be completely fair to myself, that was doctor’s orders for the first week, so I couldn’t officially start back until yesterday.

Still, I’m wondering if I should give it a few more days of eating like this before I start back to working out. I’m wondering if trying to take on the drastic change in both areas might be more than I can stick to, and might be part of what’s given me trouble before. I just don’t want to end up back on the slippery slope to giving up, and I’m not sure how to prevent it.

I’ve been tired today, but I think that has more to do with the weather than anything else. I’ll definitely sleep well tonight. I’ve also been pretty hungry, but at the same time, nothing sounds good. Here’s what I’ve ended up eating so far. I have no clue what I want to fix for dinner. Any suggestions?

This morning’s breakfast smoothie ingredients:

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YUMMY as usual.

I had a midmorning snack of a banana

Then on the early drive home from class, I decided that my sandwich and baby carrots would be too hard to eat while driving, so instead, I had a larabar and some soymilk to hold me until I got home. One thing that I’m trying to work on is eating when I’m hungry but watching what and how much, instead of the regimented “breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner” schedule and trying to break it down into how many calories I’m going to allow myself for each meal.  I would probably do better to have smaller snacks to hold me until the next snack (or meal, whichever is more appropriate). So here is the 2nd snack:

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A couple of hours later, it seemed like a good time for lunch, but rather than eat alone, I had a special guest for today’s lunch. Meet Rocky. He shared lunchtime with me today. I had a sandwich and salad, and he had some bird bread that I made last night.

picture-1321

You can put all kinds of different things in it, but last night, I used

  • 1 box jiffy corn muffin mix
  • 1 can veg-all
  • 1 egg

I also broke the eggshell up in it to give him a little bit of extra calcium.

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Rocky loves his bird bread.

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Oh yeah, and I ate too. Here’s my lunch:

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First, the sandwich. Same as yesterday:

  • wheatberry bread (which I am running out of… guess I should add that to the to do list)
  • hummus
  • spinach
  • worthington meatless chicken
  • tomato slices

And the salad:picture-123

  • spinach
  • cucumber
  • tomato
  • olives
  • 3 spritzes of this stuff

And here it is altogether:

picture-124

A little bit of motivation:

There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self.
~~Aldous Huxley

I am sitting in class right now between assignments, so I may not have too long to type. I have unbelievable news, though, and since I can’t get it out of my mind, I might as well put it down here. Last night, the impossible happened, and I’m not sure where to go next.

I was on my way to bed and had just finished brushing my teeth. As I sat down on the bed, he stopped me midway through, catching me off guard, and said that he wants to go on a diet. I kinda sat there for a second before saying anything, not really sure what I should respond with. I asked him what he had in mind, and he replied that he wants to “diet.” Now, as much as I hate the idea of “dieting” and reminded him of this, still, it is progress. This is the first time in our relationship that he has made any reference at all to changing his eating habits in any way, so even that change has to be recognized.

I asked him what he wanted to do, and basically, I think he has it in his head that he can eat a little bit less and that’ll solve the problem. It won’t, and I know that- when you’re living off of pizza, burgers, and tater tots, just cutting back isn’t going to solve the root of the problem. I asked if he was willing to eat any veggies, and he quickly, without any hesitation at all said “no.” He didn’t pause to think about it. He didn’t give a few that he would be willing to incorporate. He didn’t even agree to try one. It was a categorical no… a blanket statement that really bothers me. How can you say you don’t like something that you haven’t eaten in years? Why would you refuse to try something just based on the fact that it came out of the ground and just might be good for you?

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I’m home now, so I have a bit more time to finish this up. He looked at me and said that he doesn’t want to make a lifestyle change. That’s very frustrating for me, because I have been trying to do exactly that, and after years of the yo-yo, I just want to find some balance. I don’t know whether to step away and give him the space to come to that point on his own, or to be that little extra boost that he might need to take the first steps down the road.

On a brighter note, I can honestly say that this week has gone much smoother than I would have ever anticipated. I have been helped along by reading some really motivating blogs and articles, and they’ve been just what I needed to keep myself on the right track. I have eaten very healthy foods all week, and have not missed my junk foods in the slightest bit. I want to believe this time is different… that this time will stick… but the truth is that I have started and failed so many times it’s embarrassing and I just don’t want to jinx myself or sound like a total goober by saying one thing, and then turning around and doing the other again. Still, so far, so good.

I was able to eat a whole wheatberry sandwich today without getting anything stuck in the hole from my wisdom tooth removal. Sadly, this is the something I got very excited over, making me either really pathetic or just a really big fan of wheatberry. Not sure which.

Breakfast:

Another smoothie (shocking, I know)

Here it is before mixing:

smoothie-ingredientsIngredients:

  • a banana
  • 3/4 cup of almond breeze
  • a scoop of peanut butter
  • 1 leaf of kale
  • 2 ice cubes

And here it is in all its glorysmoothie-mixed

Lunch:

This was spread out over the day. First, the sandwich.

sandwich-makings

Parts:

  • 2 slices of wheatberry bread
  • 2 slices of vegetarian chicken
  • lettuce
  • 3 slices of tomato
  • hummus

And the finished product, along with the rest of the meal.

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And a quick brag: I’ve lost a small amount on the scale, but what I’m really thrilled with is that tonight I looked in the mirror, and the double chin is almost completely gone! Definite progress, even if the scale doesn’t show it yet.

On a side note, I got an einstruction interwrite tablet yesterday for my classroom. I actually should have had it months ago, but it took forever for it to be shipped because I won it at a convention and there was some confusion over prizes/addresses, etc.

It just came in yesterday. I charged it overnight and was able to use it today. It is AWESOME!!! I would highly recommend it to anyone. I’m able to walk around the room while still using the smartboard, create venn diagrams, pages of notes, draw bunny rabbits on the smartboard (not productive, but still fun.) I made an afternoon of playing with it after the kids left for the day, and I have all kinds of ideas floating around in my head for future lessons. Best. Accessory. Ever.

Sigh… today was another long day. I thought I would be leaving school right after school, but I didn’t realize that I had a training right afterwards today. Being the most tech savvy teacher on my grade level, I ended up signed up to train the rest of the grade level on a new computer system that our school system has bought. Frankly, I think they spent too much on it when you consider what it will do, but that’s my opinion, and I will admit that my knowledge of it is still limited. Regardless, I ended up at this training, and I have another training on the same system tomorrow after school.

Ok… the good news. Driving home, I had a thought hit me, and I feel like an idiot for not realizing this sooner. I have been trying to cram everything I have to do in after school, and beating myself up on the days that I fall short, but also beating up on myself if I don’t spend any time with Nate before he goes to bed. Why am I not getting an earlier start to my day?

I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, but Nate has to be at work so early in the morning most days that we’re both awake long before the sun is up, and I have a hard time getting back to sleep once he leaves the bed. Instead, why don’t I arrange my workout schedule around his work schedule?! Duh!

So starting tomorrow morning, if he works a morning shift, I will be getting up early to go to work out. If he works a night shift, I will drive to the gym on the way home. I feel like such an idiot for not starting that sooner.

Ok… on to the grub.

Breakfast: a smoothie

  • 1/2 banana
  • applesauce
  • 1 leaf of kale
  • 1 ice cube
  • 4 oz. activia light yogurt

Lunch: a sandwich and a banana

  • honey wheat bread
  • meatless chicken (worthington)
  • hummus
  • lettuce
  • 2 slices of tomato

Snacks:

  • an apple
  • chocolate brownie clif kid z bar

Dinner:

  • moo goo gai pan with tofu (in place of the chicken)
  • fried rice

I’m not at all happy about dinner. Nate had already ordered it without asking me. Not only is it not exactly ideal, but I was really craving some tacos. I even have a bag of morninstar crumbles ready and waiting in the freezer. Oh well… can’t change it now, but three guesses what dinner will be tomorrow!

After reading some other blogs (Oh She Glows and Simply Fabulous) I decided to give these green smoothies a try. Having seen the pictures, I expected it to be very green, and it did not disappoint in that department. Below is a before picture. At any rate, my recipe is below.

smoothie-before

  • one banana
  • one apple
  • 2 kale leaves
  • 1 cup vanilla yogurt
  • and a little bit of ice

Once “The Hulk” was staring me in the face, I had to gather my courage to take the first sip. I half expected Slimer to come floating by in the next few seconds, but finally I turned the cup up and took a drink.

It was shockingly drinkable. I will probably make a few changes to it (maybe a little bit less ice, less apple… possibly strawberry or orange instead) but it made a surprisingly tasty and very filling breakfast. I had it on my way to school at 7:00, and by 11:45 (when my class goes to lunch) I was just beginning to get hungry.

Lunch was exactly as posted yesterday, but in a different order…

  • 11:45 – peanut butter and banana sandwich, rest of the banana, and baked chips
  • 2:30 – apples and a little bit of peanut butter (2 tbsps?)
  • 4:30 – larabar

I’m thinking lentil soup and salad for dinner tonight.

Also, I will post pictures as I pack tomorrow’s lunch.